The Many Ways to Sweep

The Many Ways to Sweep
A Story by Gil Fronsdal

When I was thirteen, my family would send me up to the mountains around the monastery to collect edible plants for our evening meal.

These foraging trips were the only work I enjoyed doing. Otherwise, I tried every trick I could to avoid work on my family’s farm.

I was still in school, but it held no interest for me; my anger was a welcome barrier to learning anything the teacher was teaching.
Occasionally, during my foraging trips, I would pass by the monastery while the monks were out sweeping the leaves from the many pathways.

The first time I saw the monks working, I was mesmerized by watching them go about their work.

For many months after, I would often stop awhile to watch them sweep.

They went about their work silently and with an efficiency that seemed effortless.
Then one day, a monk walked up to me and asked what I was doing in the mountains. I became defensive.

I resented anyone who tried to get to know me.

So, instead of answering the question, I countered by asking what he was doing.

The monk smiled and answered that he had been told to sweep and that he was just killing time until he could return to his room for a nap.
As I walked home later that day, I thought about his answer and was glad that he did not seem any different from me.

When I was required to do anything,my heart was never in it and my attitude was that I was passing time until I could be excused.

Taking a nap was certainly preferable.
The next time I passed by the monastery on one of my foraging trips, another monk stopped his sweeping and also asked what I was doing.

Again I resented the question; it felt like an intrusion.

However, this time I did not feel as defensive.
But again I deflected the question by asking what he was doing.

He answered that he was doing extra work in hopes of being assigned to the kitchen, which was warm in the winter and always seemed to have one or two extra sweet rice cakes in the cupboard for the cooks to nibble on.

Without saying anything, I nodded and left to continue my foraging.

The monk’s answer resonated with me since I too liked to be warm, and eating sweet cakes was one of my favorite activities, second only to sleeping.
The next time I passed the monastery, a third monk asked me the same question. This time I was surprised I wasn’t defensive or resentful at being asked.

However, again I deflected the question back to him.

He explained that he was sweeping as a spiritual discipline to help him overcome his
anger.
Later, as I walked the mountain trail with my bag of plants, I felt a kinship with this monk. Like me, he had anger.
But I was perplexed that he would want to overcome it because I felt my anger protected me.
A week later, I was again outside the monastery watching the monks sweep.

Yet another monk came up to me. When he asked me what I was doing, I mumbled something about collecting plants.

I doubt he could hear me, for my voice was so faint.

But I did muster up enough strength to ask him what he was doing.

He replied that he was beautifying the monastery so that others might be inspired in their work of spiritual transformation.

I glanced down the well-swept paths and realized that one reason I was compelled to watch the monks sweep was that they seemed to be transforming the paths into something that made me feel calm and safe.
The next time I stood outside the monastery watching the monks, I was drawn to walk over to a fifth monk and, before he could ask me what I was doing, I asked him. He looked at me with kind eyes.

After what seemed like a long but soft silence, he explained that he was sweeping to be of service to all who used the monastery.

Practicing in this way, he hoped to find ultimate peace.
As I left the monastery that day, I thought his answer strange.

I didn’t understand what he meant by service and by peace.

And I certainly couldn’t see how these had any value for me.
The next time I visited the monastery was the last time.

I had an unfamiliar feeling as I walked up into the mountains.
Just before I reached the monastery, I realized that I was looking forward to seeing the monks again. I felt a warm glow of gladness in anticipation of what I would find. When I arrived at the monastery, I walked right up to an old monk who seemed absorbed in his sweeping and inquired what he was doing.
His words washed over me like cleansing water: “Me? I am not doing anything.

My self-consciousness was swept away long ago.

There is no ‘I’ that does anything. Now the awakened life moves through my body, my heart, my mind, and my mouth. No one sweeps, there are no paths to sweep,
and there is no dirt to brush away.”

I was stunned by his answer and, before I could respond, he handed me the broom
and walked away. I have been here at the monastery ever since.

Shopping Sabbatical

S.F. group enjoys shopping sabbatical
By LISA LEFF, Associated Press Wed Jan 3, 4:12 AM ET

It began, as grand ideas often do, over a dinner — risotto, artisan cheese and wine. What would it be like, 10 environmentally conscious friends wondered as they discussed the state of the planet, to go a year without buying anything new?
Twelve months later, the results from their experiment in anti-consumption for 2006 are in: Staying 100 percent true to the goal proved both harder and easier than those who signed on expected.
And while broken vacuum cleaners and malfunctioning cell phones posed challenges, some of the group's original members say the self-imposed shopping sabbatical was so liberating that they've resolved to do it for another year.
"It started in a lighthearted way, but it is very serious," said John Perry, 42, a father of two who works for a Silicon Valley technology company. "It is about being aware of the excesses of consumer culture and the fact we are drawing down our resources and making people miserable around the world."
The pledge they half-jokingly named The Compact, after the Mayflower pilgrims, spread to other cities through the Internet and an appearance on the "Today" show.
As it turned out, The Compact was modest as far as economic boycotts go. Several cities in the United States and Europe have communities of "freegans," people whose contempt for consumerism is so complete they eat food foraged from Dumpsters whenever possible, train hop and sleep in abandoned buildings on principle.
The San Francisco group, by contrast, exempted food, essential toiletries like toothpaste and shampoo, underwear and other purchases that fell under the categories of health and safety from their pledge.
But perhaps because its members included middle-class professionals who could afford to shop recreationally, their cause caught on. Nearly 3,000 people have joined a user group Perry set up on Yahoo so participants could swap goods and tips.
Besides thrift stores and garage sales, participants found a wealth of free or previously owned merchandise in online classifieds and sites where people post stuff they want to get rid of, such as http://www.freecycle.org and http://www.garbagescout.com.
After going through an initial period of retail withdrawal, discovering just how easy it was to score pretty much anything with a little time and effort was an eye-opener, according to participants.
Rachel Kesel, 26, who works as a dog walker, said she was astonished by how often the items she needed simply materialized — the friend who offered a bicycle seat when hers was stolen, the Apple store employees who fixed her laptop at no cost.
Similarly fortuitous timing happened often enough that group members came up with a name for it — "Compact Karma."
After postponing purchases such as a new wind breaker and a different stud for her pierced tongue — she couldn't bring herself to buy a used one — Kesel broke down only twice.
Once was when she was planning a trip to Israel and couldn't find a used guidebook that reflected current political realities. The other was after her commuter coffee cup suffered a fatal crack.
"I really found a lot of times there were things I thought I needed that I don't need that much," she said.
The pledge provided unexpected dividends as well, such as the joy of getting reacquainted with the local library and paying down credit cards. Gone, too, was the hangover of buyer's remorse.
Perry got satisfaction out of finding he had a knack for fixing things and how often manufacturers were willing to send replacement parts and manuals for products that had long since outlived their warranties.
"One of the byproducts of The Compact has been I have a completely different relationship with the things in my life. I appreciate the stuff I have more," he said. "I don't think I need to buy another pair of shoes until I'm entering Leisure World."
Over the holidays, Compact members gave homemade gifts or charitable donations in a recipients name instead of engaging in the usual Grinch-making shopping crush. Kate Boyd, 45, a set designer and high school drama teacher, visited a new downtown shopping mall and felt like she had just stepped off a flying saucer.
"It was all stuff that had nothing to do with me, yet for so many people that's how they spend their weekends," she said. "It's entertainment and it is the opposite of where I've been for a year."
Now that they know they can do it, Boyd, Kesel and Perry are ready to extend the pledge into 2007. But first, they plan to give themselves a one-day reprieve to stock up on essentials — windshield wipers, bicycle brakes and tongue studs.
__
On the Net:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thecompact

Prescription for Happiness

Prescription For Happiness

(CNN) -- The next time you are deciding between ice cream and cake, buying a car or taking a trip to Europe, accepting a new job or keeping your old one, you should remember two things: First, your decision is rooted in the desire to become happy -- or at least happier than you are now.
Second, there's a good chance the decision you make will be wrong.

Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert summed up our failings this way: "People have a lot of bad theories about happiness."It's not for lack of trying. The Declaration of Independence affirms that we have an inalienable right to pursue happiness, and it's something we do with a vengeance.

Americans will spend $750 million on self-help books this year and more than $1 billion on motivational speakers. More than 100 colleges now offer classes in positive psychology -- the science of happiness. With all those resources focused on achieving happiness, we should all be brimming with joy. So where do we go wrong? Gilbert, author of the recent book "Stumbling on Happiness," blames our culture, our genes and our imagination. Our culture implores us to buy bigger, newer, better things, but research shows "stuff" does not buy happiness. By and large, money buys happiness only for those who lack the basic needs. Once you pass an income of $50,000, more money doesn't buy much more happiness, Gilbert said.

Our genes hardwire us to reproduce, but children have a small negative effect on happiness, research shows. If you're a parent reading this, you're most likely shaking your head. But Gilbert said the findings are clear when parents are asked about their level of happiness in the moment."When you follow people throughout their days, as they're going about their normal activities, people are about as happy interacting with their children, on average, as when they're doing housework. They're much less happy than when they're exercising, sleeping, grocery shopping, hanging out with friends," Gilbert said. "Now, that doesn't mean they don't occasionally create these transcendent moments of joy that we remember as filling our days with happiness."

Finally, our imaginations fail us, Gilbert said, because when we envision different futures we see either perpetual gloom or happily ever-after scenarios. In fact, neither unhappiness nor joy last as long as we expect. As you've probably guessed, winning the lottery will not guarantee a life of bliss. By the same token, becoming disabled does not relegate one to a life of unhappiness. The disabled spend their days about as happy as the general population, according to Gilbert.So what makes us happy?

In general, the older you get the happier you get -- until you reach very old age. According to a Pew Research Center survey, the happiest age group is men 65 and older; the least happy: men 18 to 29.

The survey also found:
Married people are happier than singles.
College grads are happier than those without a college degree.
People who were religious are happier than those who aren't.
Sunbelt residents are happier than other U.S. residents.
Republicans are happier than Democrats -- but both are happier than independents.

Nancy Segal, a professor at California State University, Fullerton, has spent her professional career studying twins and happiness. We all have an innate level of happiness, Segal said. The best we can do is boost our happiness a little bit above this natural "set point." With that in mind, Segal said we should pass on buying lottery tickets and find small things we can do every day that bring us joy, whether it's going for a walk or cooking a meal or reading a book.

Robert Biswas-Diener is called the Indiana Jones of positive psychology because he has traveled the globe looking at happiness in different cultures."There is good evidence that people express at least some fundamental emotions like disgust, anger and happiness in a very similar way all around the world," Diener said.Diener, who also is a life coach, says happiness from the most traditional cultures to the most modern depend heavily on close family and other human relationships.If you want to do a better job predicting how happy something will make you, said Gilbert, the Harvard professor, you need to remember we are not so different when it comes to happiness."If I wanted to know what a certain future would feel like to me I would find someone who is already living that future," he said. "If I wonder what it's like to become a lawyer or marry a busy executive or eat at a particular restaurant my best bet is to find people who have actually done these things and see how happy they are.

"What we know from studies is not only will this increase the accuracy of your prediction, but nobody wants to do it," he said. "The reason is we believe we're unique. We don't believe other people's experiences can tell us all that much about our own. I think this is an illusion of uniqueness."And if you're trying to decide between the new car and the trip to Europe, Gilbert said take the trip."Part of us believes the new car is better because it lasts longer. But, in fact, that's the worst thing about the new car," he said. "It will stay around to disappoint you, whereas a trip to Europe is over. It evaporates. It has the good sense to go away, and you are left with nothing but a wonderful memory."

Get Your Life Under Control

Get Your Life Under Control
Thirty-three chaos-busting strategies from master organizer Judith Kolberg

Getting your life in order is a key step toward reaching your goals. No secret there. So why do we put up with chronic disorder at home, at work, and in our personal lives?
Judith Kolberg suggests it’s a matter of perfectionism: We’re unable to do what it takes to get even a bit more organized because we worry that we won’t become perfectly organized. And as Kolberg, author of Conquering Chronic Disorganization, points out, there is no such thing as perfect organization. Life is capricious, and get-it-done strategies that work well today may prove useless tomorrow.

The good news, says Kolberg, who’s now president of FileHeads Professional Organizers (www.fileheads.net), is that seemingly small changes can bring big improvements in your life—less clutter, fewer hassles, and greater tranquility.

The Big Picture

1 Set time limits for decision-making.

ADDers can spend days agonizing over decisions that others make in minutes. Speed the process by setting a time frame or a budget cap. If you’re choosing a summer camp for your child, for example, set a deadline, and make the best choice you can by that date. If you’re deciding which new cell phone to buy, pick a price cap and ignore more costly phones.
Always identify the most important factor to consider in making any decision, whether it’s price, convenience, aesthetics, practicality, or something else. Focus solely on that factor when considering your decision.

2 Fight the tendency to over-commit. For each new commitment you make, give up an old one. If you agree to join the school fund-raising committee, for instance, give up the neighborhood watch committee. ADDers tend to spread themselves too thin.

3 Keep your to-do lists brief. Using big, bold letters, make a list of no more than five tasks on an index card. (List any additional items on the back of the card.) Once you have done those five things, refer to the back of the card to create a new to-do list—and discard the old one. You’ll accomplish more, feel less frustrated, and manage your time better.

4 Fight hyperfocus.

Set an alarm clock, kitchen timer, or computer alert—or arrange for someone reliable to call you at a specified time or times. If you tend to lose yourself on eBay for hours at a time, you need this kind of help.

5 Use a “body double.”

This is a friend or family member who sits with you as you tackle mundane chores, like balancing a checkbook, filling out a job application, or reviewing financial statements. Your body double will create a productive atmosphere by sitting quietly and doing an unobtrusive task, like affixing stamps to envelopes or clipping recipes from a magazine.

PERSONAL CARE

6 Keep extra medication on hand.

Each time you fill a prescription, write in your planner the date on which you’ll need to renew it (or set your computer to issue an alert or generate an e-mail reminder on that date). Ask your pharmacist if he can call to remind you when it’s time to refill. Your “renew date” should be at least one week before the date on which you’ll run out of medication.

7 Build socializing into your schedule.

That way, your desires to meet new people, have interesting conversations, and keep up with friends are taken care of automatically. Take a class, join a book club or a lecture series, or start a dinner club.

8 Join an ADD support group.

Support groups provide more than emotional support. For example, the members can get together online when it’s time to tackle boring tasks, like filling out tax returns or filing: One at a time, each person leaves the computer, dedicates 15 minutes to the task at hand, then returns to instant messaging—to joke, commiserate, and congratulate one another. Find out more about online and in-person support groups at www.chadd.org.

9 Carry a colorful wallet.

It’s harder to misplace a red wallet than an ordinary black or brown one. The same goes for your checkbook.

10 Buy experiences, not objects.

There’s nothing wrong with a little “retail therapy” to reward yourself for your accomplishments. But think twice before buying some new object (which may become just another bit of clutter in your home). Instead, use your money to buy a pleasant experience, such as a massage or a night out with friends.

CLUTTER CONTROL

11 Stop agonizing over insignificant items.

What to do with greeting cards you’ve received, batteries of dubious power, unidentified CDs and cassette tapes, orphaned screws, and so on? Toss them into a “ripening drawer.” Once the drawer is full, quickly sort through it. Use what you can, and discard the rest. Then start the process anew.

12 Get a “clutter companion.”

This is a (nonjudgmental) friend or family member who will help you get rid of all the stuff that’s cluttering up your house. A few times a year, you and your companion should sort your clutter into four piles: “keep,” “toss,” “donate,” and “age.” Discard the “toss” items at once—before you have a chance to change your mind. Place “donate” items in heavy-duty garbage bags, and drive them to the nearest donation bin. Place “age” items in a cardboard box marked with a date three months hence. In your calendar, mark the same date as the time to “review age items.” When that date rolls around, give those items another look. If you feel comfortable discarding them, do so. If not, renew the date for another three months.

13 Fight financial-statement overload.

Do you really need to keep monthly account statements? Ask your accountant if you can get by with keeping only quarterly or annual statements—and toss the rest.

14 Don’t let unread magazines pile up.

If the next issue arrives before you’ve read the last one, place the last one in a small basket (measuring no more than six inches high and two magazine-widths across). Once the basket fills up, sift through the magazines. Read what you can, and discard or recycle the rest. (You might drop off the best magazines at a hospital or women’s shelter.)
If you are habitually unable to keep up with the issues of a particular magazine, cancel the subscription.

YOUR DAILY ROUTINE

15 Make use of “wasted” minutes.

Don’t wait to find long blocks of uninterrupted time to tackle organizational chores. In one minute, you can sort mail, remove lint from the dryer, or water the plants. In five minutes, you can empty the dishwasher or write an e-mail. While you wait for your laundry to dry, you can mate socks and gather clothes for dry cleaning.

16 Create a “launch pad” near the front door.

This is the place to stash things that family members need each time they leave the house—umbrellas, school backpacks, briefcases, pocketbooks, keys, scarves, and so on. The launch pad might have cubbies, pegs, hooks, containers—anything that makes it easy to find and grab things as you head out the door.

17 Ditch those receipts.

Each evening, empty your pockets, wallet, purse, and briefcase of all ATM slips and receipts. Put them in with your stack of bills to be paid and financial statements to review.
Too much loose change? If coins pile up on your dresser, get a jar to put them in. At the end of the month, you’ll have an extra $15 or so to spend—a reward for keeping your pockets free of clutter.

18 Simplify your wardrobe.

The more clothes you have, the harder it is to decide what to wear each morning. So continually winnow out extra clothing. If you get a new shirt, for instance, consider getting rid of an old one. In spring and summer, coordinate all your clothing around only two colors, plus white. In fall and winter, coordinate all your clothing around two other colors, plus black. You’ll feel liberated by having fewer outfits to choose from—and you’ll save money on clothes.

19 Pre-assemble your clothes into complete outfits.

Hang them on sturdy hangers in your closet. You’ll get dressed faster each morning, with less confusion and second-guessing. This strategy works for men and women alike, and is especially helpful for organizing business attire. Women can slip a baggie with matching jewelry onto the hanger. For items to help organize children’s clothes and toys, take a look at www.organize-everything.com/kiddailor.html.

AROUND THE HOUSE

20 Take it one project at a time.

Having to tackle several big projects at once is stressful for people with ADD. Set one priority, and get it done, tying up all loose ends before moving on to a new project. For instance, get new eyeglasses before cleaning your gutters. Or take your car in for maintenance before revising your résumé.

21 Use sticky notes to stay on track.

If you’re often sidetracked by interruptions, make it easy to return to the task at hand once the interruption is over. How? Keep a supply of sticky notes with you, and jot down where to pick up again. For instance, if you must take a phone call while reading, post a note on the text that says, “resume reading here.” When the call is over, you’ll know exactly what to do.

22 Double up on tasks.

If you can make it a habit to do two small things in concert, you’ll get more done. For example, you might reset your clocks and change the batteries in your smoke detectors upon the end of Daylight Saving Time each autumn. You could change your oil and balance your investments on the same day. Or reorganize your pocketbook each time you water the plants.

23 Organize your garage like a professional.

That means separating your stuff into “zones” of the sort you see at home-improvement stores: “tools,” “painting supplies,” “gardening supplies,” “sports equipment,” “automotive,” and so on. If this job is too big to tackle on your own, don’t be reluctant to ask for help.

THE PAPER TRAIL

24 Rethink your filing system.

ADDers often have trouble with filing because they create too many categories. Better to keep your categories broad, and use subfolders where necessary. For instance, you might label one folder “insurance,” and fill it with subcategory folders for life insurance, car insurance, and health insurance.
Online retailer www.addconsults.com offers a variety of terrific organizing products, including one designed specifically for keeping track of owner’s manuals, product warranties, insurance policies, and the like.

25 Create a document “hot spot.”

This is a red, see-through folder for important, time-sensitive documents. In this folder, which should be kept on your desk, you should place papers representing up to five different tasks that must be attended to within the next 24 hours—an overdue bill, a client file, a phone message to return, and so on.
Clear out your hot spot daily. Active papers that aren’t yet urgent should be kept in transparent file folders arranged vertically in a file holder.
A hot spot is a great tool for dealing with the “out of sight is out of mind” problem.

26 Stanch the flow of junk mail.

Add your name to the “do not send” list maintained by the Direct Mail Association. Go to http://www.dmaconsumers.org/cgi/offmailinglist for more information.

27 Process the mail every day.

That will keep you from feeling overwhelmed. Throw out junk mail immediately. The rest of the mail should be kept in one place, with a wastebasket nearby. Bills to be paid should be placed inside your checkbook or—if you use online banking—on the desktop beside the computer. Stick everyone else’s mail into nearby cubbyholes, slots, or shelves with their names on them.

MONEY MATTERS

28 Schedule a quarterly review of investments—with yourself.

Write the date and time to review these on your calendar or in your planner, and go over your bank accounts, investment accounts, and retirement plans.

29 Switch to online banking.

How much time do you spend each month writing checks, addressing envelopes, and affixing postage (not to mention mailing the checks)? It’s faster to do your banking online—especially since you can set up recurring bills to be paid automatically—and you won’t have to pay for postage.
If you’re intimidated by the sometimes-complicated computer work required to open an online account, ask a computer-savvy friend or family member to help.

30 Use a single checking account.

Keep your checkbook in your purse or briefcase and return it there immediately after using it. Keep your check register and a few emergency checks (but not another checkbook!) in another location, in case you lose your checkbook.

31 Keep plastic to a minimum.

The more credit cards you have, the more statements and receipts you’ll have to contend with. Better to stick with one or two major cards and avoid the high-interest store and gas cards. Consider new card offers only if the terms of the card are clearly superior to the terms of your current cards.

32 Get a debit card.

Keep it in your wallet, and use it instead of a personal check whenever possible. Each time you use the card, make an entry in your check register as if you had written a check. That way, your checking account stays balanced.

33 Keep some extra cash on hand.

Put several hundred dollars in a waterproof plastic bag and place it someplace safe but easy to locate (maybe your freezer). That way, you won’t be caught empty-handed if a storm, power outage, or some other natural or man-made disaster makes it impossible to use ATMs.

For more on preparing for a disaster, go to www.redcross.org.

10 Ways to Be a Better Worker

10 Ways to Be a Better Worker

1 Go through your in-basket several times a day. This keeps you from being sidetracked every time a new piece of information crosses your desk. Just be careful not to waste time by checking your in-basket —or your e-mail—too frequently.
2 Before tackling a boring task, enjoy some physical exercise or a favorite activity. Walking up and down a few flights of stairs, doing a crossword puzzle, or listening to music for 15 minutes enhances your executive functioning—priming you for the work ahead. Listening to music as you work helps block out other sounds that might prove distracting.
3 Boost your reading ability with color. Covering the page with a sheet of transparent, colored plastic (available in any stationery store) will boost your comprehension.
4 Allot yourself a specific amount of time for each task. People with ADD often have a poor sense of time. Instead of giving yourself all day to finish that report, give yourself two hours. Set an alarm or a computer alert to go off when time's up.
5 Each morning, list your top 10 "to-do" items. This keeps you on track during the day. Write them on a white erasable board. If your priorities shift, alter the list with the swipe of a paper towel.
6 Set aside 15 minutes each day to clear your desk and organize your paperwork. This is the best way to avoid "buried desk" syndrome. If you wait to get organized "later," it will never happen.
7 Write down appointments and deadlines on a wall-mounted monthly calendar. Count backward from each project's due date, and mark the dates when intermediate stages must be completed.
8 Take copious notes in meetings. This not only helps you focus, but also provides an outlet for restlessness.
9 Keep a written record of all requests. People with ADD often have trouble remembering spoken instructions.10 Limit your availability. Make it clear to co-workers that you would rather not be disturbed outside of your prearranged "office hours."

Take the Emotional Journey First

Take the Emotional Journey First

Just like when you set your radio tuner on 98.6, you can’t hear what’s being broadcast on 101 FM: Your frequencies have to sync up. So, the frequency of your desire and the frequency of your day-to-day thought about your desire have to be on the same vibrational wavelength. And how do you know when it is? It feels good to think about it. How do you know when it isn’t? It doesn’t feel good to think about it.

So, it might be a good idea to start talking about where you’re going instead of about where you are, and where you’ve been. Because, as you talk about where you are, or about where you’ve been, that’s the signal that you offer—and that’s the signal that everything Universally is responding to. That’s why it feels sometimes like you’re stuck on this spot. You’re not stuck because things are always changing. But if it feels like you’re stuck, it’s because they’re changing to the same thing over and over again.

Your motor’s always running and the Universe is always responding to it, and wherever you’re pointed is where you’re going, and if you’re pointed to the past, then you’re just recreating more of the same, or if you’re powerfully looking at what-is, then you’re just creating more of the same thing. But if you are looking forward; if you are looking into the future; if you are looking for change; if you are looking for new, if you are looking for improvement, then that’s what’s coming to you—it has to be. It is illogical for it to be otherwise.

The Laws of the Universe are constant; they respond to you unerringly. You never get something that you are not a vibrational match to. It has never happened to anyone, and it is not happening to you. You can get to wherever you want to be from where you are. And if you will stop trying to do it all at once, it will go better for you because Law of Attraction is the best friend that anyone has ever had, but it’s this consistent, fair-minded friend that always responds to your vibration so that you are never again confused about how things work.

Law of Attraction won’t pull strings for you. It won’t let you behave one way and attract another way. It will be so very consistent that you will—if you’re paying attention—learn exactly what it is you are doing that nets you the results that you are getting.

In other words, with a little bit of paying attention to the way you feel, you will always know. As Jerry and Esther travel between Phoenix and San Diego, their destination is San Diego. They are clear about where they are going. And as they get about half-way between Phoenix and San Diego, they find themselves in Yuma, Arizona—a nice enough place, but it is not where they are wanting to be. Yet, when they find themselves in Yuma, they do not get so disoriented about not being where they want to be, that they turn around and go back to Phoenix.

It’s really important that you understand the essence of this story, because what this story tells you is that because they understand this distance between Phoenix and San Diego, they don’t lose their way; they don’t lose hope; they don’t lose heart—they know that if they just keep pointed in the right direction and make some reasonable effort in moving in that direction, that—sooner or later—they’re going to be where they want to be. We want you to understand that that is true of everything that you have ever wanted—whether it is a magnificent career; whether it is a magnificent relationship, a new one or improving one that already exists; whether it is attracting dollars, which feel like freedom, (so that you can do more of the things you want to do) whether it is an improved situation with your body… No matter what your desire is, no matter where you are, you can get from where you are to where you want to be—but you first have to make it an understandable journey. Every journey—whether it’s from no money to tons of money; whether it’s from a really sick body to one that is magnificently well; whether it is from relationships that make you want to run and be a hermit in the desert to relationships that make your heart sing… it does not matter what your request is, every single time—it must be an Emotional Journey first.

Rather than saying, “I’m in deep, deep debt; I’m scared to death; I can’t pay my bills; I’m disappointing people who I care about; I’m disappointing strangers, and the strangers are making my life miserable, and I want more money,” instead, what you want to say is, “I want to go from the pain of not enough money to the feeling of freedom of more money. I want to go from the fear of a sick body to the feeling of security of a well body. I want to go from the anger and discord and frustration of an argumentative relationship to the joy and satisfaction of an open, communicating relationship.” Because if you will make it first an Emotional Journey, then we can show you how to change the way you feel, no matter what the topic.

When you manage to change the way you feel, on any topic, you’ve changed your vibrational point of attraction and manifestation must follow. But until you make it an Emotional Journey, until you figure out how to change the way you feel even though circumstances haven’t changed yet—nothing changes.

Begin saying, I can get to wherever I want to be, but right now, I’m just going to reach for the best-feeling thought that I have access to—right now. And when you get there announce to everybody, “I am so angry I could wring your neck, and I feel so much better than I did earlier.” And then, if you have it within you, you might say to them, “I will try to restrain myself, but meanwhile, you might want to go someplace else. Eventually, I will be in frustration, and then, I will be in appreciation. But right now, I am in anger and I like it here. I did it on purpose.” And those are the key words… I did this on purpose. Watch your children. Watch anybody who finds themselves in a place where they feel powerless. In fact, you know, this entire range of emotions…

Oh, let’s talk about some of them. So, here is despair and powerlessness and then, not too far from that is a feeling of rage. And not too far from that is anger, anger, anger. There are lots of degrees of anger. And then, you can get into that place that you would call frustration-overwhelment. Then, you could get into pessimism, hopefulness, optimism… then, you could get into appreciation, belief, even those feelings that you call love, even those feelings that you call knowing, into that place that you call empowerment or Well-Being. And, of course, there are many, many words that we did not speak, and sometimes, the word doesn’t mean the same thing to you that it means to somebody else, but that’s the general vibrational range.

We like to call it the Emotional Range. On the far end of the Emotional Range, where you are truly Connected to who-you-really-are, there is one word that stands out above all others, and it is the word empowerment. It is the word free...being in complete alignment with the Energy that is You. The only place that freedom exists is in that vibrational place where you, who hold all of the power to you, (nobody else does) where you have discovered the way to create within yourself a pattern of vibration that allows you full Connection to who-you-really-are. That’s the only place that you can ever be free. Nobody else can give it to you; you have to do it to yourself. And, on the far other end of that is the feeling of disempowerment. It’s the feeling of powerlessness. When do your children most act up? Is it when they feel empowered? Is it when they are inspired? Is it when they are full of themselves? Or, is it when they are being restrained? Is it when they are being told that they are inappropriate in some way? As you pay attention to yourself or to anyone that you know, begin to notice that the feeling of empowerment is bliss, and the feeling of disempowerment is as far from bliss as you can get. And everything about your emotions is about that range, no matter what you call it.

So, as you make the decision that you are going to reach for the best thought that you have access to, there’s something very important that you have to decide right along with that. (Some of you are going to like the sound of this; others, it will frighten you.) You have to decide that you no longer give a rip about what anybody else says, because they’re trying to guide you from all kinds of other ways. Sometimes people will say, “Abraham, you teach selfishness.” And we say, indeed we do because you have perspective of self; your Guidance System is about self; every point of Consciousness has this awareness of self. Think about it. If there are all of these Consciousnesses, and we’re not just talking about the human Consciousness, although we are mostly talking to you about that, but think about it. If every Consciousness, even the one-celled amoeba in the ocean, even the cellular Consciousness that is within you… if every point of Consciousness is reaching for what is best for it, must that not be what is best for the whole?

Humans think that there is competition. They think that you are in competition for the good stuff. “So, if somebody over there wants what’s best for it, then it might get it, and it might deprive you of what’s best for you.” But that’s not the way this Universe works. This is an expanding Universe that expands proportionate to the desire that is conjured within all Consciousness. When you understand that there is no competition; nobody can get your good stuff, only you can allow it or disallow it, then you begin to understand that that’s how the Universe expands—you don’t need to worry about what anybody else is doing; they’re not getting your stuff. You are the creator of your own experience and your dominant intention becomes a vibrational match with the Well-Being that flows... oh, that’s so much what we want you to hear. That’s why we call this gathering the Art of Allowing.

When you don’t feel so good—you’re not letting it in. (the Well-Being that you want and deserve) The better you feel—the more you are letting it in. When your mantra is, I’m going to start making the best of things; I’m going to make the best of it, what you’re actually saying is, No matter where I am, no matter what I’m focusing on, I’m reaching for the best thought that I can find, and when you’re in despair, the best thought that you can find might be anger, but you can find it. And when you find it and say, There, that feels better. Now, I’m going to still reach for the best thought I can find, it might be a thought of true frustration but you can find it. And when you find it, you will feel better. And then when you say, I’m still going to reach for the best-feeling thought I can find, it might be a thought of overwhelment; it might be a thought of blame… Where is blame on the Emotinal Scale? So here is despair, and here is anger—where’s blame? Does blame improve your Connection or is there more resistance in blame? So, “I feel powerless and now I feel angry, and now I feel blameful.” Is blameful improving? It really is, isn’t it? “Now, I feel guilty. I feel guilty about being blameful, actually.” Did I move toward my Connection or away from it? [away] You see, you know this stuff. You know the way you feel. You can tell the way you feel. So, somebody’s watching you, someone, from the outside, who has a list of rules and requirements to get into the good clubs, and they see you in your depression, and then they see your anger. Do they understand that you’ve made an improvement in your anger? Usually not. In other words, no one outside of you knows that you have made a vibrational improvement. No one knows but you. And so, if you’re asking someone else to tell you the way to go, you will be lost in the desert because they’ll say, “Go that way. Go that way. Go that way.” They’ll tell you what they’ve done in their past; they’ll tell you what you’ve done in your past. In other words, you get so scrambled, you’re upside down and all around—but when you are paying attention to the way you feel, now you’ve made this an Emotional Journey. And when you make it an Emotional Journey, you’ll never again…you never…you knew…you already know. You can feel which way was an improvement.

It’s like, your cork floats on the surface of the water; that’s where you’re supposed to be. You can hold it under the water, but that’s unnatural, and when you let go, it’s going to bob back up to the surface. And you will, too, if you’ll pay attention to the way you feel and let your new mantra be, “Nothing is more important than that I feel good, but I’m not going to follow my bliss today. I can’t even see my bliss; I can’t even smell my bliss; I can’t even remember the last time I felt bliss. I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt bliss. I’ve never known anybody that felt bliss. I hate the idea of bliss! (fun) I hate everybody that’s ever been in bliss. I’m perfectly happy here in my rage.” And we say, good for you. Just make another statement that says, “I’ll only be here for a day or two because I know that there’s something that feels even better than this.” And then, keep reaching for it. And try to disregard anybody else’s response. And it is our promise to you, within a matter of hours (in many cases), certainly within a matter of a few days, you can go, on any topic, from wherever you are to wherever you want to be.

And this is the most important thing you will ever hear anybody say to you: Once you have made the Emotional Journey, the physical manifestation must follow—it is Law. You can’t feel as good as you are going to begin feeling without doors opening everywhere; without smiles coming everywhere; without the Universe catering to you... People will watch you and say, “When were you anointed king of this world?” People will say, “I cannot believe the good things that happen to you! How is it that all of this wonderful stuff happens to you?” And you will humbly say to them, “Not only to me—to all of us. I’ve just figured out how to stop blocking it. I’ve practiced beating the drum of praising and appreciating. I’m beating the drum of making the best of things. I’m trying to make the best of everything. And, in doing so, I’m achieving vibrational alignment, more and more, every day, with the Well-Being that we all deserve. Now, I’m glad that it’s showing up in my life. I hope it’s not making you jealous, because it’s there for you, too.” Good. Well, there isn’t anything else that we could ever give you that would be of one bit of value beyond that. That’s the whole thing: You’re good; you deserve good; good’s flowing to you; get happy—it will. We have enjoyed this interaction immensely.

Excerpted from the workshop in Atlanta, GA on Friday, April 23rd, 2004
In 1985, Jerry and Esther Hicks began dialogs with Abraham, a name chosen by a group of nonphysical teachers, who deliver an inspirational message of joy and well-being. This site offers excerpts from workshop recordings since 1990, plus other news and announcements, to support your journey to all that is desired.

Art of Allowing

ART OF ALLOWING
Abraham Hicks

We've been calling this gathering The Science of Deliberate Creation, and surely it is that. But we are wanting to give it a new and emphatic subtitle. (a subtitle that you place even more importance upon than the title) We are calling this workshop The Art of Allowing.

Because when you discover how to achieve vibrational harmony with your Source and with your desire, then you are in the vibrational state of allowing the things that you want. And it's not a difficult thing to do once you understand the way your Guidance System works, and that Law of Attraction is always consistent. Law of Attraction says that which is like unto itself is drawn. And everything is managed or organized by Law of Attraction. Law of Attraction is gloriously, blessedly, lovingly consistent. It never plays favorites. It never behaves differently for one than another. It is always what it is. It's like the law of gravity--you can count on it.

Your Emotions are Your Guidance System
Your emotions tell you everything that you need to know about your state of allowing or of not allowing. In other words, when you feel positive emotion it means you are in vibrational harmony with your Source, and you are allowing the good things that you are wanting to come to you. It is that simple.

As You Are in a Place of Feeling Good, You are in a Place of Allowing Good.

When you feel that which you call positive emotion, such as joy or appreciation, or a feeling of love or well-being those feelings that make your heart sing, those exhilarating feelings, those feelings, whether it ranges from contentment to passion, those feelings that you would call good feelings, those feelings that you would wish for all people that you love, (and if you are very wise you would wish them for all people that you don't even know and maybe not love) as you are in that place of feeling good you are in the place of allowing. You are in the place of allowing what? Allowing Source Energy. Allowing connection with who you are. Allowing wellness. Allowing clarity. Allowing abundance of all things desired.

When you feel negative emotion, such as anger or fear or frustration or rage, even anxiety, those feelings of depression? when you feel that which you call negative emotion, what that always means is, for some reason, right now, you are not in the state of allowing. Allowing what? Allowing Source Energy, allowing clarity, allowing all that is good. You are, instead, in the state of resisting. You are in a vibrational state where, for whatever reason, you have found some reason to focus in a way that disallows the Pure, Positive Energy, the Source Energy, the Energy that creates worlds from flowing to you and through you in the way that you've intended it.

You Live in a Sea of Well-Being

What a magnificent Guidance System, your emotions. Not something that has to be translated by another. Not something that has to be written in a book and studied for years to be understood. It is right there within you in the moment.

Why Aren't More Using Their Guidance System?
So why aren't more people utilizing their Guidance System to hold themselves more often in a state of allowing the things that they want? Because you have become accustomed to the feeling of resistance, so much so that your Guidance System is sort of numb. It feels normal for many of you to feel a little ornery, or a little aggravated. In other words, you have become so accustomed to the feeling of resistance that you don't understand the Guidance System when it is there within you.

And because most of you have not been made aware of the process of Energy flowing, and how it feels as it flows through you, most of you have lost your place in your Creative Universe in terms of flowing Energy. You have become those, almost without exception, human beings who are charting the results of how you and others have flowed Energy. You have become post Energy studiers. You are looking at the manifestation, which is the result of how the Energy has been flowed, instead of being aware of how you're flowing in the moment.

Your Power is All In The Now
The only thing that matters is how you're flowing in the moment. Right now is where all of your power is. Right now you are either open and allowing your Life Force to flow or not and you can tell by the way you feel whether you are allowing or not.
You are receivers of Well-being in extraordinary fashion. You live in a sea, or an arena, of grace. Well-being is the sea that surrounds you. But sometimes, without meaning to, you can get focused upon a piece of something that somebody has manifested in their art of resistance, and as you focus upon it, and as you achieve vibrational harmony with it, you include it in your vibration, as well, and now you, too, are practicing resistance. How is that so? Because everything is about attraction.

Your Attention To It Includes It
When you look at something that you want and you give your attention to it by your attention to it you include it in your vibration. As you say yes to it, you include this thing that you want in your vibration. But when you see something that you do not want, and you shout no at it by your attention to it you include it in your vibration. In this Vibrational Universe, there is no such thing as no. Everything is yes. So when you see something wanted, it is yes. When you see something not wanted, it is yes.

You Know What is Wanted By seeing What Isn't

It is by your very objective nature, as you weigh the pros and the cons and the pluses and the minuses, that you keep including things that you don't want in your experience. "But Abraham, isn't that a logical thing? I thought you said that I'm here to examine the content of the Universe, and that out of this sea of contrast will be born rockets of desire? So how can I help but see those things not wanted?" That's right. You have to be able to see things not wanted. How would you know what is wanted without your awareness of what is not wanted?

Every Stick Has Two Opposite Ends
Every subject is two subjects. It's like a stick with two ends on it. On one end is what is wanted and on the other end is that which is not wanted. So when you pick up the stick that says wellness, you're also picking up the stick that says lack of wellness. When you pick up the stick that says abundance, you're also picking up the stick that says lack of abundance. Every possibility has two ends. "So how do I be in the place of allowing, when I pick up the stick that says abundance? How do I keep from picking up the other end of it that says, not enough?" And we say, that's where your Guidance System comes in. You can tell by the way you feel whether your propensity for vibration on a topic is one of resistance or one of allowing.
When you pick up the stick that says abundance, do you feel confident? Do you feel free? Do you feel glorious? Do you feel exhilarated? Or when you pick up the stick that says money, do you feel restriction? Do you feel shortage? Do you feel worried? Do you feel fear? Do you feel anger? What is the feeling that you hold when you activate the subject of dollars? Or of wellness, or of any subject?

Are You Selfish Enough To Feel Good?
Nothing Matters More than that I Feel Good

With much less effort than you have ever thought before, you can learn to bring yourself into vibrational harmony with Well-being at all times. But there's one thing that you have to decide before any of it will begin to make sense, or before anything that we are going to teach you here today will be able to be applied by you: You must be selfish enough that you are willing to feel good. You have to reach the place where you say, "Nothing matters more to me than that I feel good." Because until you are willing to actively work at feeling good, you're not going to know when you don't. Until you deliberately reach for the conscious feeling of the higher vibration, you won't be able to recognize the lower vibration.

You and the Cork are Naturally Buoyant
Imagine a cork bobbing up here on the surface of the water. On the surface of the water is where your natural vibration is: high, fast, pure. It all means the same. High, because there's no resistance, fast, because there's no resistance, pure, because there's no resistance. That's who you naturally are. Now take hold of that cork and hold it under the water. That's what negative emotion is. But, as soon as you let go of the cork, it floats right back to the surface.
And so, we're not here to teach you to raise your vibration, because your vibration is naturally raised. We're here to help distract you from the lower vibration. Jesus said, turn the other cheek, and that's exactly what he was talking about. Turn your attention from what holds your vibration in a lower place, and your vibration will naturally raise.

Meditation, the Practice of Allowing Well-Being
Many teachers, we are among them, teach meditation, because meditation, when you achieve it effectively, means you distract yourself from the physical stuff. It's like a withdrawal of consciousness when you are still awake. When you are asleep you withdraw consciousness too. But when you slumber and withdraw consciousness, your consciousness is not consciously aware of what it feels like to be in that higher vibration. But when you are awake and in a state of meditation, now you are consciously aware of what it feels like to be in that higher vibration. Which means, you will be more aware when your vibration dips.

Use Meditation as a Process to Allow Connection to Source Energy

Sometimes people say, "Abraham, is it normal for all hell to break loose in someone's life when they begin the meditation process?" And we say, yes, because what happens is you are bringing yourself to a place of heightened sensitivity, so that formerly achieved patterns of lower vibration are less comfortable to you.
There are other ways than meditation: Appreciation, a rampage of appreciation raises vibration. Listening to music that makes your heart sing raises vibration. Petting your cat raises vibration, or sitting and watching the river go by? Often you are in your highest states of connection to Source Energy while you are driving. It is the reason that there are fewer traffic accidents, because you are, as a mass consciousness, often more connected when you are driving. Something about the rhythm of the road, or the lack of something to focus upon.

Here is the process of meditation that if we were in your physical places we would utilize: Every day for 10 or 15 minutes, and not for much more than that, we would sit quietly by ourselves somewhere. Maybe under a tree, maybe in our car, maybe in the bathroom, someplace where we would not be interrupted.
We would do our best to shut down our physical senses. In other words, we would draw the curtains if it is bright. We would close our eyes. We would put ourselves in a place where there is not much sound. We really would not even play music. Some people play music, but even that can be distracting in nature. Something like the ticking of a clock, or the dripping of a faucet, or the trickling of a waterfall, something of that nature can be very soothing. And some music falls into that same category. But it must be something that does not stimulate thought.
And we would focus inward, even on our breathing. We would be consciously aware of air in, and we would be consciously aware of air out. We would concentrate on long breaths in, and we would concentrate on long breaths out. We would breathe air in, and when we thought it was all our lungs would hold, we would bring still more in. And when we think it is still all our lungs could hold we would breathe more air in. And then, at a place of full expansion of lungs, we would take a long, slow, delicious time to let the air out. And our intention would be nothing more than being in this moment, and being consciously aware of breathing. We would let it be our fullest responsibility. Not fixing breakfast, not combing hair, not wondering how someone is doing, not thinking about yesterday, not worrying about tomorrow, not focusing on anything in this moment except air in, and air out.

Now, during this process, within 2 or 3 days of doing it, you're going to begin to feel a detachment from your physical experience. A very common thing that you will feel is a sort of numbing sensation. Some describe that they cannot tell their toe from their nose. Some, if their eyes are closed, and we recommend that, may begin to see movement of light around under their eyelids, or even flashes of color.
There is no right or wrong in this process of meditation. There is nothing that you should be reaching for. This is a state of allowing. This is a state where, for just a few moments, you stop running the show. You stop trying to make anything happen. This is your time of allowing. This is your time when you are saying unto your maker, unto your Source Energy, unto your Inner Being, unto your God - whatever you're wanting to call it, this is your time of saying, "Here I be, in a state of allowing. And what am I allowing? I'm allowing Source Energy to flow purely through me."
15 minutes a day of that effort will change your life. Because it will put you in the state of allowing the Energy that is natural to you to flow. You'll feel better in the moment. You'll feel more energized when you come out of it.
You may spend 14 minutes before you achieve any state of detachment. You might not ever be consciously aware that you've achieved any state of detachment. It doesn't matter, you are making enormous progress as you allow yourself to be.

"Ask and it is given." Not, ask and get worthy? It is Ask and it is given. Ask and Allow

A big benefit that you'll notice, right away, is that things that you've been wanting will begin showing up. "Now, why is this? Abraham, I didn't sit and intend. I didn't sit and set goals. I didn't sit and clarify what I want. I didn't tell the Universe what I wanted. How come 15 minutes of just being will set those kinds of things in motion?" Because it has always been, ask and it is given. It has never been "ask and do something right and it is given". It has never been "ask and get worthy". It is ask and allow. Ask and allow.

And so, every day, you've been asking. You've been launching all kinds of intentions. You cannot live in your physical body, you cannot be part of this physical environment without endless desires being born within you. And as these desires are being born within you, the Universe is answering them. And now, because of your 15 minutes of allowing, whether you were petting the cat, or practicing your breathing, whether you were listening to a waterfall or listening to happy music, or whether you were on a rampage of appreciation, what happened, for that time of allowing, is, you set up within your vibrational auric field a vibration that, for the time, was not in the state of resisting the things that you've been asking for. And progress is made in that time.

Bring Your Guidance System Alive Again
"Well, Abraham, if I've been really negative for 50 years, is it going to take me 50 years to turn it around?" 15 minutes ought to do it. "In 15 minutes I can undo all of the disallowing that I've learned to do?" In 15 minutes you can allow, you don't have to undo anything. "Well, what if I've really developed habits of negativity? Is 15 minutes going to change that?" Probably not. But the next time you go to one of those negative thoughts, you're going to be more aware of it. Your Guidance System is going to say, "Hey!" You're going to feel your state of resistance in a keener way. Your Guidance System is going to be brought alive again so that you will be aware, probably for the first time in your life, of what you're doing with Energy.

Everything that happens to you is created by the Energy you are Summoning and Allowing (or not).

And that means everything. What you're doing with Energy is what you do. You do everything with Energy. You are Energy flowing beings. Everything that happens to you and everything that happens to everyone you know, happens because of the Energy that you are summoning and allowing, or not allowing. Everything is about that relationship with Energy. Everyone you know who is having every experience that you know is having it because of the focused desire that their life has brought to them, and the state of allowing or resistance that they are in at any moment.

You Could Release any Deadly Disease, Now
You could have every deadly disease known to man, and some they haven't even figured out yet, you could have them all in your body right now and tomorrow they could all be gone, if from one day to the next you learned how to allow the Energy to flow. We really are not encouraging those kinds of quantum leaps, they are a little uncomfortable. What we really are encouraging is every day being selfish enough to say: "Nothing is more important than that I feel good. And I'm going to find ways today. I'm going to begin my day by meditating and bringing myself into alignment with my Source Energy. And as I move through the day, I'm going to look for opportunities to appreciate, so that all day long I'll bring myself back into Source Energy.

"If there's an opportunity to praise, I'm going to praise. If there's an opportunity to criticize, I'm going to keep my mouth shut and try to meditate. If I feel like criticizing I'll say, here Kitty, Kitty, and I'll pet my cat til that feeling goes away." Within 30 days of mild effort, you can go from one of the most resistant people on the planet, to one of the least resistant people on the planet. And then those who are watching you will be amazed at the amount of manifestations that begin to occur in your physical experience.

Manifestations, On Other Side of Your Door
Open the door and allow your natural Well-being to Flow

If you could see an aerial view of your life, an aerial view, where we are seeing you, electrically, it's like you are standing here, and over there is a doorway, and on the other side of the door is lined up all of these things that you've been wanting. They're just leaning on the door, just waiting for you to open it. They've been there from the first moment you asked for them: Your lovers, your perfect mates, your perfect bodies, your perfect bodily conditions, all of the money that you could ever imagine ... all things that you've ever wanted. Things little and big. Things that you would call extraordinary and significant, and things that you would call not very significant. Everything that you have ever identified that you wanted is lined up right outside that door. And in the moment that you open the door, all things wanted flow to you. And, then we will hold a seminar on how to deal with the manifestations, with all this stuff that is flowing in.

One of the most significant things that we are wanting you to realize is that you are not here about the manifestations. You are here about the feeling of Energy flowing through you. You are here to give birth to the desire. It is the desire that is alive within you that is everything. It is the desire that is alive within you that we are all about. But the manifestations are fun, too, aren't they?

Benefits of a Good Cry

Benefits of a Good Cry
from www.care2.com
Adapted from 365 Energy Boosters, by Susannah Seton and Sondra Kornblatt (Conari Press, 2005).

Simple Solution
Unless you let it move, sadness--acute or chronic--can clog you up, putting perpetual tension into your eyes, heart, stomach, and lungs. Crying is not the only way to release sadness, but it’s a darn good one. Find out from a biochemist why crying is so helpful, and get some hints about it here:

Research conducted by Dr. William Frey, biochemist and tear expert, showed that emotional tears differ chemically from tears cause by cutting onions, indicating that crying releases specific toxins. Even Aristotle theorized that a good cry “cleanses the mind.”

How do you make yourself cry? You can sneeze when your nose tickles, cough when water goes down the wrong pipe, yawn when you’re sleepy, bang pillows when you’re angry, and release sexual energy when you’re aroused. But letting tears flow involves opening yourself to the feelings from within.

Start by giving yourself some uninterrupted time, probably alone, since crying near others might keep you from focusing on your own experience. Watch a stirring movie, listen to ballads of longing, or read a heart-rending book. (Kids’ books like Charlotte’s Web can be poignant and fast reads.) All of these can give you permission to release your sadness.

When your eyes start to water or your heart feels tingly, focus on your physical sensations. Let your thoughts--ranging from everything will be okay to it’s so awful--be in the background, not dictate your feelings. Don’t rush the process. Let the tears flow. Big girls--and boys--do cry.

Shop for Supplies
365 Energy Boosters
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=caremailgreeting&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=157324869X&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_b
lank&lc1=0000ff&bc1=000000&bg1=ffffff&f=ifr

Copyright: Adapted from 365 Energy Boosters, by Susannah Seton and Sondra Kornblatt (Conari Press, 2005). Copyright (c) 2005 by Susannah Seton and Sondra Kornblatt. Reprinted by permission of Conari Press.